You Won't Relent

You won't relent
Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

 

"You Won't Relent" -Misty Edwards

 

I remember when I was growing up, my mom would put songs on repeat always or we would listen to the same Brooks & Dunn cd in the car for over a month. It drove me insane! Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because I have been listening to this song on repeat for over a week now. Each day a different section speaks to me. How do I treat Jesus? Is this what I say to God? Come be the fire inside of me, until You and I are one. Do I truly say this? If so, what does it look like?

 

Many people who know me, know that I tend to use the emotional side of my brain more than the intellectual side. I've never had the strong desire to know all the details. "It is the way it is; I feel this way about it; I can't explain it, it's just a feeling I have; God gave you a gut for a reason." These are all catch phrases that I use. I find myself in a culture that wants to know the intellectual side of God and struggle to explain it. The need is to first rationalize God intellectually and then emotions can follow if they want to. It's challenging. How do I show the emotional side and be open to learn from the intellectual side? I am commanded to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Therefore I need the intellectual AND emotional side.

 

I believe I'm going to be learning more about the need for both of these sides. God made us complex. He is complex. And He won't relent until He has all of us. This is a comfort to me and excites me for the life long journey of learning ahead of me.

Retreat = Rest

I spent the past week in Lithuania with other EMM Workers for our annual Missions Retreat. Coming from a frantic, exhausting week, I was ready to put some distance between my schedule and myself for a week.

After a long and hilarious journey, Stacy and I arrived late at night in Klaipeda, Lithuania. We were warmly welcomed in by the Brubakers (missionaries living there). The following day we went to a gorgeous retreat area, filled with wood carvings, cottages, and pumpkins. In a word: tranquility. This required photoshoots throughout the week.

Our time together was wonderful! We were a small group but all got along well and were able to share openly about what we have been experiencing, as well as our hopes and dreams for the next year. I loved when all of us gathered around to pray for one another. I loved having people speak into my life and being given the opportunity to do the same for them. I also had the chance to lead some worship sessions which I had forgotten how much I love doing it! I have to chuckle at myself...I had Czech worship songs in my head most of the week.

God knows how to bless His children. Marsha and I were blessed by a day visit with our friend Sarunas. He was in training with us at HDC. We couldn't visit Lithuania and not see our friend who lives there! We had a blast walking around Nida, seeing the great sand dunes, and looking at videos and pictures from Sarunas' life. He encouraged me a lot just by driving 3 hours to visit us!

Another way God blessed me, was allowing me to see the seaside twice in one week. I love the ocean and beach. It's a place of rest for me. I felt all stress wipe out of my body as I laid eyes on the Baltic Sea. The women who were with me said I was glowing.

Stacy and I finished our week in Lithuania resting after the retreat. It was nice to just be and have no expectations. Our flight was moved up one day, so we spent Saturday relaxing in Prague.

It is time for the schedule to pick up again. But I feel at peace about the upcoming weeks and I am looking forward to how God will work in the days to come.

God Celebrates YOU

Zephaniah 3:17 is one of my favorite passages. It's also a song that I sing to people as a blessing and to my little brother, Maclane, as I rocked him to sleep so many months ago. "The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great joy in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." The NIV version says "He will take great delight in you." God delights in me, in you, in us.

Have you ever stopped to think about this truth? The God of the universe delights in you! I have been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan for the second time. He reminds us throughout the book that God loves us and desires to be in relationship with us. Now I think during this year in the Czech Republic I've missed/will have missed approximately 9 weddings. My friends are getting engaged left and right! When I talk with them the story is always similar, "I can't believe he chose me!" is the feeling most women have. I realized that this is the same feeling that I should have about my Heavenly Father. "I can't believe he chose me! I can't believe He wants to be in a relationship with me!" So ladies and gents, if you have ever been in love or are in love right now, take that emotional feeling and magnify it by 10 and that is the overwhelming joy we should feel by being chosen by God.

Marilyn Meberg says, "Knowing He delights in us allows us to feel secure about who we are and Whose we are." As I wrestle with homesickness, almost constant gray and rainy weather, and balancing the many demands of life, I am re-discovering what it means to be a delight to God. It's an active, constant delight. Just like his unconditional love is constant and active. Everything else around me may be in complete chaos but He delights in me. I'm His and He is in control.

Crunchy Leaves & Deer

A little less than two weeks ago, Stacy and I were graced by the presence of our dear friends Dave, Marsha, and Zane in Prague. We went exploring around the city and they joined me at CISP to help with grading some paperwork for a dear friend of mine. Embarrassing stories were shared, deep and meaningful conversations commenced, and laughter abounded. I'm so thankful for the visit and the opportunity to let others into my life here in Prague.

I have been fairly successful in working from a place of rest. Some weeks seem busier than others but I can always turn back to the Father and say "uh..help please?".

Last Wednesday, September 28th, those of us in the CZ celebrated St. Wencelas Day. Most businesses and all schools were closed. Stacy and I took our time exploring the city since may people vacated it's premises. The leaves are beginning to turn colors and fall here bringing much joy to my life as I love to go out of my way to step on a crunchy leave. This also brings much laughter among my friend who are with me to be conversing as we walk to see me side step to catch a leaf.

The karate club in the school has not worked out. Currently, I'm teaching two missionary boys karate and keeping it open for others to join. We discussed the importance of focusing and balancing. I have very intelligent students who answered my question on what else do we focus on with God, parents, and teachers. I'm looking forward to more classes with them.

We are experiencing a lovely Indian summer right now (which unfortunately will end soon) and I could not resist a prayerwalk through the greenway near my flat. It was a time of asking God all my questions concerning the present, the next 6 months, and beyond. On the way back to my flat I decided to be quiet and let God do some talking. I was startled by a noise to my left. Turning, I saw a deer eight feet away from me. We locked eyes for a while and then she decided I wasn't life threatening. Wow! How often does one see a deer that close up and so close to the city limits? I love God's gifts of creation when in quiet introspection.

It takes a process to get a product

Since I last posted, my visa is now in the process of being renewed, I have started my fall schedule, and my teammate Stacy has arrived.

Stacy arrived 10 days ago and it's been a joy to have her here! You can find us frequenting a kavarna, walking around, being tourist with our cameras out, and laughing at the crazy things that seem to happen to us. Last week, while crossing a busy intersection, my flip flop broke so we did an immediate shoe shopping trip. I ended up purchasing sweet purple shoes! We've also had some meaningful conversations and I am loving how the people in my life are accepting her with open arms. I'm truly blessed with incredible people here in Prague.

God has taken the time before Stacy's arrival to remind me again of his faithfulness. That when I feel alone it's a lie because He's there with me. I've been learning what it means to surrender to what He is doing in my life. I've been studying, in a sense, about what it means to work from a place of rest at Jesus' feet. I've spent the past few weeks allowing God to pour into me. In the beginning of September, I went on a leadership retreat with Young Life and felt God telling me in my quiet time that it's time to work. It's time to take what I've been learning from God about working from a place of rest and apply it. It's been great! There are some days where I'm gone ALL day from home and other days that are slower paced that I can rest and be with God.

There are some changes to what I'm doing for the next 6 months. I'm coordinating with Young Life Praha to start a martial arts club hopefully in October. We've been having some issues with finding a location. I will also be helping them with some weekend events throughout the next 6 months. I am also a service project supervisor for a small group of high schoolers from Christian International School of Prague. We go to Teen Challenge once a week and work with their after school program. Yesterday was our first day there and I'm looking forward to this time during the week.

Next week, Dave Harnish, his son Zane, and Marsha Kanagy arrive for a cohort visit! I'm looking forward to showing them life here in Prague and seeing God continue to work here. There are so many random encounters that continue to happen here and I'm praying they continue.

Transitions

Saturday ended the marathon of camps this summer. I had the privilege of being the English teacher for the advance class. A group of wonderful young adults who are not afraid to discuss some serious topics and who helped create many inside jokes with me. I also received the blessing of having Happy Birthday sung to me many times even though it wasn't my birthday. Apparently, my name reminded someone of a singing card that would say "EMILY! Happy Birthday to you!". Everyone was quite confused.

The reading material for the camp was The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis. In an attempt to keep everyone alive and alert, I suggested to Brian that we do a dramatic reading of the chapters in the evening. I didn't realize until 20 minutes before the reading was to occur that by suggesting this idea I was now the one in charge of it. The evening readings continued to go well with minor confusion that added to the charm of it all. It is such a blessing to be able to come together from all over the world to spend quality time with others.

I find myself in the midst of transition again as I gear up/discover what my fall schedule will look like. There are some really wonderful opportunities ahead of me for this fall but it's going to take some discernment to figure out what to agree to. A wise American pastor living in Switzerland told me that I will need to learn to say no so that I don't burn out. Something that the people pleaser in me finds hard to do at times.

These next couple of weeks are being spent discerning and filing for my visa renewal. All the paperwork is getting in order and I have my appointment with the Ministry of Interior Affairs on Wednesday next week. Prayers for a smooth visit and visa processing are most appreciated.

Camps, Camps, Camps, Retreat, Camps...

I woke up this morning in my flat in Praha and sighed. I didn't have to leave today for a camp! Time to rest before Saturday when I leave for the last English camp of the summer for me.

In mid July, I started this marathon of camps by helping with a City Camp in the Cerny Most area of Prague. I worked with an incredible team from Texas and the REACH Global team, along with some awesome Czechs to reach out to children in this neighborhood. Stumbling over the little Czech words that I know, and learning that games and laughter translate well across cultures, I began to become energized. I love spending time with people and now I was able to start a period of time where I would be surrounded by people. The City Camp was a success and we even had a few children accept Jesus.

The next week, I went off with the RZ Czech Brethren Church to the northern mountains for Family English Camp. Traveling with us were two woman from Iowa and a man from Texas who came to teach the adult English classes. I worked with another missionary to teach the elementary age children for the week. We had a lot of moments that called for adaptability and all of us were able to laugh and move on with life. I also taught some martial arts during the 3 days of rain. Our focus for the week was the story of the Prodigal son and my group of 10-12 year olds went from thinking the father was stupid for forgiving his son to believing that he wasn't stupid for forgiving his son. I loved watching the transformation and watching Christ work in my teammates and students. I was given the privilege to sing on the worship team in the evenings. We sang wholesome songs like "Sweet Home Alabama" and "We Will Rock You".

I then headed back to the Czech mountains for my Czech Church's retreat. Seven days with my church family in an incredible hotel that reminded me of a castle, with 5 awesome women sharing a room with me, and gorgeous weather. The focus of the week was on family and how to show Christ's love to one another. I didn't always have a translator but found ways to be filled through the talks. I even understood one whole sentence all by myself! It was a stretching time for me, having to use more Czech and be patient with communication. I began to get frustrated that I couldn't communicate at the level that I wanted to. Patience. Yet, the chance to connect with the young adults in my church was wonderful! We went on day trips together and had some deeper conversations. They were very supportive of me as I tried to communicate and pick a song to sing. I was asked to sing and play guitar for the group. It was lifegiving for me and to God be the glory! I am looking forward to singing more in the months ahead.

The most recent camp that I attended was a Young Life camp for all of the Czech Republic. I taught the first martial arts workshop. I loved it! I love working with other martial artists and seeing the students confidence grow as they begin to understand what they are doing. I had fantastic martial artists helpers and translator. The biggest challenge we faced was getting the girls in the class to be okay with hitting a person. Well success was found when one girl kicked our helper, Michal, through a slightly opened door causing some bleeding. Michal and I were grinning from ear to ear. There was a group of 30 Americans from all over there to assist with the camp. It was a rough transition from me to come from a place where I was the only American to having 30 of them around me! But I'm thankful for this experience in many ways. One way is having some much needed processing time with long term missionaries in Europe as well as being an American with the group from California. As a staff, we focused on building relationships and interceding for other leaders and the campers. The camp is still going on! Prayers are more than welcomed!

God continues to show me small ways that He is working. It's humbling that He choosing to use a broken vessel like me to accomplish His plans.